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16/02/06

My entry on 15 August 2002

In life there are always ups and downs, it does not matter if you are a King, the Pope or just a simple fisherman. There is nothing fair in this world. People said, “God made everyone equal.� Yet, how much truth can those mere four words contain?

We build our world the way we want it. “The world is my oyster�, someone once said. But has anyone ever actually given it a thought that the oyster might be a bit spoiled? Questions will always replace answers. The most common one would be, “Why?�

Why, indeed? I chose to live my life the way I want it and why does not society accept it? I penned down my deepest thoughts and why does not anyone acknowledge and praise me for it? Questions, questions, questions. Unanswered and thus we become bitter. Whose fault is this? Yours? Mine? The society’s? Just more questions waiting to be answered.

However, I believe that everything we do comes from within us. It is how we build our world from every nook and corner to our satisfaction, just to accommodate ourselves. There we will place our sanity, emotions, strengths and weaknesses. With this, no man is created equal. We challenge each other, day by day just to be individuals in the limelight of life. We want to be the superior, the prime, the numero uno, and the king of the world. We want it all.

Sometimes, when people say you are as good as anybody else, your ego will puff into the size that your body could not contain. You want what your next-door neighbour has, you want the same pay as your colleagues and you want the same grades as your classmates. You believe you deserved it and if you do not get it, you blame the world for your sorrows. The Heavens for torturing you and Hell for giving you misery.

In ourselves, we fight the never-ending battle because we could never understand how the Wheel of Life turn. I choose to liken life to the simple children’s game, “Snakes and Ladders.� In your hand you role the dice of life and the game board is your path. If you are lucky, there is a ladder and you climb to the top. When you are unlucky, you get swallowed by a snake and get sent straight to the bottom. Initially, you will reach the last box but tell me, can any two players ever reach the last box at the same time? Definitely not. Back to reality, life is like that game but with more players, less ladders and more snakes.

Honestly, there should be nothing to be bitter about. Life is like that. No matter how smart you are there will always be someone better. It is just how you play the game. Unlike the board game, we can build more ladders and eliminate most of the snakes. Some how, in some way, some one might get swallowed so much that they could never see the ladders. They are so immersed in bitterness that nothing seems hopeful.

Is there a cure for bitterness? I think there is. In fact it is in everybody, it is in their hearts but some how they do not know how to use it or take the proper dosage.

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