The life and mind of Adeline Ong

Today just feels so weird. I know that I have not been sleeping properly for the past two days. But I guess I was trying to make the best of it. It is so hard to be depressed and have fun at the same time I guess.

On Friday night, I had a meeting with Cape Poetics team for the Man Without Shadows play. I will be stage managing for them. It was good to see old faces again. The face that I was very happy to see was Sharmila. I miss her so much since Another Wrestling. I have not seen most of them since I did lighting for Death of A Warrior. As for Kenneth, the last time I saw him was at his wedding. To work with them again will be so fun. Plus I will have an apprentice or two. Plus, it was so weird to hear Pengiran call me ‘TEACHER!!’ It is 4 years since I last taught. It is so strange that my student will be working together with me now.

After which, the RC crew and I went clubbing for the last time as a production team. It was not as fun as the first time but it still was fun. Bumped into Lee Yin, Hoay Hoay and Alvin. Separately though. There were a few funny moments. Prisca got chatted up by an African American. He had the nerve to hint that he wanted her to visit his room. Well, if only he knew that wherever one of us go, the rest of us will follow. After club experience, we went over to my place for a sleepover because most of us did not really want the party to end. That was so fun. Don’t know when I will ever get another chance to do that again.

On Saturday night, we were all sitting on the beach at Batu Ferringhi. It was the very same beach where part of Jungle Spirit was filmed. It is usually quiet there but that night, there was a big group having a barbecue party. All of us were out of it. We just did not seem like our crazy RC selves. Only God knows why everyone was so jiwang yesterday night. I guess sitting on the beach actually does provoke a lot of thoughts. I can’t speak for everyone but at the beach, I had thousands of thoughts spamming my brains. I am confused, depressed, angry and very tired of the whole deal of life. Everyday I am bombarded by this question, “What will you do after this?� and this answer when I say I do not know. “Don’t worry everything will be alright.� As though I do not have any other worries. I have 2 papers coming up still. For the first time in my life, I am not going to get an A for English. Sigh!!

To make matters worse, I saw the idiot that actually tried to two-time his girlfriend with me. I was so angry that I actually had tears. I know that it is so stupid to get my emotions all tied up because of him. Somehow, I hate loose ends because I never had an explanation on why would he want to do such a thing. Then again, it is best to let sleeping dogs lie.

Thank goodness that Astra, Prisca and Chris stayed with me until around 5 a.m. We watched Nanny Mcphee on the DVD player. Interesting movie but I am always reminded of Mary Poppins. The cool part of the movie was that Emma Thompson not only played the lead but wrote the screenplay as well. Yay!!!

This afternoon, Sam and Mich dropped by before they left for KL. I am not sure when I will see Sam again. But since the costumes are with me and my books are with her, I will be seeing her still. It is a wonder how time flies. It was just like yesterday that I met Sam in USM. I knew that back then, she did not really like me. Then Sam and I did not really find our juniors very friendly until we started working with them. I guess I should know by now that I should not judge a person just by appearance.

Well, today I did the unthinkable. I washed the family cars. Well the exteriors at least. But washing cars is not my fave jobs. I just did it because I was bored or perhaps very depressed. I am going to miss these crazy times with the RC monkeys. Will this be the end? It does not help with Chris keep saying, “You all are no longer going to be here.� That statement seems as though we are returning to our makers rather than us graduating. Then again, I am not sure if I will be graduating at all.

Speaking of Chris, I just read his latest entry. Talk about Jiwang…man….

I guess matters of the heart are very delicate indeed. We always hurt the person that loves us the most, with or without realizing it. Yes, we play games just because it amuses us. Then we assume the other party will understand. But do we actually know what is the boiling point of a person? There is only so much insults, jokes and teasing a person can take. For me, it would be about my weight. Jeez, I know I am fat but having it shoved down my throat every single day really does take the cake. Yes, yes the ultimate solution will be losing the weight. That will be a different entry.

Now I am feeling very weary. But I need to fetch my mum and bro from the bus station later. Will try to wake up early tomorrow to study.

Year by year, I am disappointed by the list of 50 most beautiful/eligible/gorgeous people for magazines. The last time I went to an event of such is when Ramon and Peter did the CLEO 50 most eligible bachelor thing. I believe it was three years ago. So I decided to do my own. The current installation will be 50 of the hottest and coolest guy friends a girl like myself can have.

Please note that this is not based on looks. (Though it is refreshing for the viewers) I have my personal picks because of the friendship we have and also upon approval.

At the moment, I am getting approval from the guys and their other half (if they have any). That is why, this is not a 50 most eligible bachelor list. On a brighter note, so far, many think it is a blast and quiet fun to do. Plus I will be uploading pictures, by batches according to how long and when I have known them.

It has been over four years now since my dear friend Pei Sze left us after a coma. I was teaching in Free School back then, the same place where I met her. I mourned the loss as many of my friends did. Yet how can you put it to words? The image of her mother crying at the funeral parlour is still plastered in my mind. Yes, it is really heart wrenching that a parent should surpass a child’s lifespan.

When I was younger I read from a book that, Each and every person that comes into your life has a gift or a lesson for you. Once that lesson is taught, they will move on to enrich another’s life. Though Pei Sze has only been with most of us for such a short period of time, I believe she has managed to enrich our lives differently. I’m doing my part now to keep Pei Sze’s gift alive in both our hearts and minds. I know a lot of us still feel the pain but I don’t think Peiz would want us to be like this. Her sudden lost still stings me deeply for I’ve promised myself never to attend a friend’s funeral at this young age. Looks like our Earth Angel went back to Heaven. Yet my fondest memory of Peiz was when she locked the whole gang out of the apartment because she fell asleep in August 2001.

This is the poem I wrote, in Pei Sze’s honour.

Pei Sze.. I miss you girl…. I really do.

Copyright ©2006 Adeline Ong

Dear gang, I wonder if you guys still remember this….. Took Tash, Ji and I hours to come up with it but was never publish. So I figure that the world deserves to read it.

MMOC SSAM WARS
Not so long ago, in a galaxy known as the Troyals star system, there was a planet called Mmoc Ssam, whose inhabitants were all stark-raving mad. The Gni-Sit-Revda faction was waging war against the Maslir-Nujo. Once the peacekeepers of the planet, the Snoitaler Cilbup has dwindled until only a few remained. Things were getting out of hand.

The Gni-Sit-Revda and the Maslir-Nujo were fighting tooth and nail over the Sacred Jukebox; for whoever had the Jukebox would have the power to rule Mmoc Ssam. Distressed by the turmoil in his kingdom, useless King Sherman of Mmoc Ssam called upon his most trusted advisors (happily escaping Queen Shakiraalma’s tea party with her courtiers Nisha and Oja) to seek a solution to the crisis.

“I call upon the Charmed Ones!� squeaked the King.

With a clap of thunder and a flash of lightning, the Charmed Ones appeared; Jivani, Keeper of the Holy Crap; Firuz, Keeper of the Holy Cow and Sheela, Keeper of the Holy Sotong. They were powerful soothsayers, and the King begged them to reveal the path he should follow.

After retreating to the Zoo, they performed the Sacred Macarena Ritual for 50 days and 50 nights. Finally returning to the King’s court with their vision.

“Call upon John Woo to direct your army!� declared Jivani.

“Seek Theng Theng, the Bell-Ringer of the Gni-Sit-Revda!� cried Firuz.

“Destroy Canny, Keeper of the Very Corrupted Documents (VCDs) of the Maslir-Nujo!� advised Sheela.

The King pondered these prophecies. He did as the Charmed Ones advised – he ordered General John Woo to gather an army. He sent Ambassador Vicky to look for Theng Theng the Bell-Ringer. Finally, he hired Shahriar, the Boongalian assassin to hunt down and erase Canny.

In her quest to find Theng Theng, Vicky stumbles upon the Bokana Angels, the last elite members of the Snoitaler Cilbup. They were Natasha the Klutzy, Fieza the Feisty and Adeline the Berserk. Vicky pleaded them to help her. They only agreed to help after the Ambassador promised to give them a lifetime supply of Nasi Kandar. So the Angels boldly journeyed where no Bokana has journeyed before.

Meanwhile back in Mmoc Ssam, the daughter of King Sherman and Queen Shakiraalma, Princess Audrey Violet Eyes was playing with her nannies; Li Chin, Keeper of the cutie pigs; Catherine, Keeper of the kitty cats and Winny, Keeper of the pooh bears. However, they were distracted by gossips of how lousy King Sherman is. During this time, the evil sorceress Julie pricked Princess Audrey’s delicate fingers on a poisonous cactus, which sent the poor princess into a deep sleep. Her evil twin brother, Afiq proceeded to poison the royal guards (who were playing congkak at that time) with his powerful stench.

This was all part of a coup led by Canny to take over the palace. She wanted the Sacred Jukebox for herself and wanted the Charmed Ones to help her find it. She sashayed into the throne room and held the King and Queen hostage. She threatened to play Barney songs over and over again until the King summoned the Charmed Ones.

The smart and efficient kitchen maids, Gene, C-Mun and Cassandra hatched a plan to send for help. They stuffed Sharon into a trash receptacle and rolled her out of the castle. Sharon kept rolling up hill and down hill. ‘Goleking’ until she ran over Ambassador Vicky and the Bokana Angels. Climbing out of the receptacle, she promptly threw up on the unlucky people due to her motion sickness. The receptacle had been an old model and was not equipped with a sickness bag. Since Sharon could not find Shahriar the assassin, she informed the Bokana Angels that the castle had been attacked and their assistance were needed ASAP!!

The Bokana Angels barged into the castle. Everyone took one look at them and ran ‘lintang-pukangly’. Aiya, not because they were scary but they were smelly. They got puked on, remember? Anyway, the Angels attacked! DUSH! KA-CHING! POW! BANG! ADOI! SMACK! KICK! KA-POW! AIYA! CHOP! OUCH! SLAP! PULL!

The bruised villains finally raise the white flag but their leader, Canny escaped. She crawled under the large dining table. As she was crawling out, she ran smack into Shariar, who was there to hand in his resignation as an assassin. He caught Canny and brought her before the Charmed Ones, who turned her into a mushroom. Afiq and Julie were sentenced to watch a lifetime’s worth of boy band music videos.

Amongst the chaos, they heard peals of bells ringing and Theng Theng the Bell-Ringer pirouetted into the middle of the throne room.

“I sense much disturbance in the force. Dig here!� she commanded.

They dug – and unearthed the Sacred Jukebox! Everyone rejoiced as King Sherman’s authority was restored. (They didn’t have a choice anyway.)

However, King Sherman bellowed, “What about my darling daughter? Who is going to save her?�

“How about me?� declared a voice from behind the crowd. Many heads turned and there in the light stood Prince Alvin of the Gni-Sit-Revda. He strode over to where the Princess had fallen and kissed her on the forehead. Her eyelids fluttered open, she screamed and fainted. Despite the unfortunate incident of their first meeting, the couple was soon married.

And what happened to the Mmoc Ssam community? Well, as far as we know, they are still stark-raving mad.

Please note….
Name of these characters are taken from real people. Though the story is very far from the truth… All I can say that it is.. entertaining.

About a week ago, I received a text message asking me to explain, “What is love?�
At first, I thought, “What a funny thing to ask now. After all final exams have begun and I doubt that there is a topic on love being discussed for this exam. Unless someone has words that it will be the next essay question.�

Anyhow, back to the topic of LOVE. Lurve, luv… L.O.V.E….Ai.. Cinta…Amour… no matter how you spell it or in how many different language you can say it. It still bears the same weight as a topic.

The topic of love has been an interest of human kind ever since time began. But honestly what is love?

We tell the people we care about that we love them. We tell it to our family members, we say it with passion to our lovers, we urge others to make love not war in the 70s, we tell the public to love Mother Earth… yes we tell the world to spread the love but what is actually love.

For me, I have always defined love as the emotion which gives birth to the other emotions. Why do I say so? This is because when you are in love, there is a mixture of emotions, you get confused, not being able to pin one emotion down. Because of love, you can feel sad, happy, angry, jealousy, bitterness, hatred, greed, calmness and all the other emotions which I cannot fathom at this moment.

You will feel sad when your love leaves you.
You feel happy when you and your love are together.
You get angry when your love hurts you.
You feel jealous when your love gives attention to others.
You hate the people who hurt your love.
You feel greedy when your love does not give you the fullest attention.

But how do explain love in its purest form? Is there even an explanation?

For a person, that many have approached for ‘love advice’, I hate to say that I am not the best candidate for such advice, mostly what I have been dishing out is probably relationship advice. But I guess it still works since that communication and a good relationship is an essential part of love.

So we kind of figure out what love is. Though each individual has his or her own interpretation and styles of going about it.

From young, I believe it would be safe to say that our first encounter with love began as soon as our mothers acknowledge our presence in their wombs. That is the love of a mother to her child. After nine months, we get more love. Basically, our first experience is the love of the family.

But no sooner that you were born, you begin to experience a new love. The bond of friendship, the love we create when two beings have a platonic relationship, caring for each other as two companions can. The loyalty that is built through trust and most importantly the respect for each other because of the deep love we have for each other.

After that I would like to trickle into the topic of love as in the love between two lovers. But when we were young, we experience some kind of love for the opposite sex (perhaps the same sex in some cases). There is always the first crush as well as puppy love. I am not sure about others. My first crush was when I was 9. I am still in touch with this guy though we have been on different routes since. He is in a very happy relationship for all I know. But being so young, how would I know what is love? In fact, I am not sure if it was love.

According to Katherine Hepburn, “ Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get – only what you are expecting to give.”

I guess it is true. I may sound very obnoxious to say that in all my relationships I have been the giver and in the end receive more pain than expected. Then again, that is me. Never been in a NORMAL relationship. Perhaps I should live until my old days a spinster. Can you imagine me, sitting on an old rocking chair on the front verandah, knitting, surrounded by dozens of cats, screaming at kids to get off my lawn? Hahaha! Okay, I am starting to sound like a bitter old lady. But love is confusing. I can’t say if I want it around or not.

Ever wonder why we always hurt the person we love and that love us back the most? It is because love is forgiving as well. We are willing to look beyond the faults of our loved ones and them the same. However, we are only human and we have our limits. We can only hurt someone just enough to push them out of our lives.
Love is a delicate game of give and take.

For those romantics and believers of love:- What are you willing to give for love?