The life and mind of Adeline Ong

Dear gang, I wonder if you guys still remember this….. Took Tash, Ji and I hours to come up with it but was never publish. So I figure that the world deserves to read it.

MMOC SSAM WARS
Not so long ago, in a galaxy known as the Troyals star system, there was a planet called Mmoc Ssam, whose inhabitants were all stark-raving mad. The Gni-Sit-Revda faction was waging war against the Maslir-Nujo. Once the peacekeepers of the planet, the Snoitaler Cilbup has dwindled until only a few remained. Things were getting out of hand.

The Gni-Sit-Revda and the Maslir-Nujo were fighting tooth and nail over the Sacred Jukebox; for whoever had the Jukebox would have the power to rule Mmoc Ssam. Distressed by the turmoil in his kingdom, useless King Sherman of Mmoc Ssam called upon his most trusted advisors (happily escaping Queen Shakiraalma’s tea party with her courtiers Nisha and Oja) to seek a solution to the crisis.

“I call upon the Charmed Ones!� squeaked the King.

With a clap of thunder and a flash of lightning, the Charmed Ones appeared; Jivani, Keeper of the Holy Crap; Firuz, Keeper of the Holy Cow and Sheela, Keeper of the Holy Sotong. They were powerful soothsayers, and the King begged them to reveal the path he should follow.

After retreating to the Zoo, they performed the Sacred Macarena Ritual for 50 days and 50 nights. Finally returning to the King’s court with their vision.

“Call upon John Woo to direct your army!� declared Jivani.

“Seek Theng Theng, the Bell-Ringer of the Gni-Sit-Revda!� cried Firuz.

“Destroy Canny, Keeper of the Very Corrupted Documents (VCDs) of the Maslir-Nujo!� advised Sheela.

The King pondered these prophecies. He did as the Charmed Ones advised – he ordered General John Woo to gather an army. He sent Ambassador Vicky to look for Theng Theng the Bell-Ringer. Finally, he hired Shahriar, the Boongalian assassin to hunt down and erase Canny.

In her quest to find Theng Theng, Vicky stumbles upon the Bokana Angels, the last elite members of the Snoitaler Cilbup. They were Natasha the Klutzy, Fieza the Feisty and Adeline the Berserk. Vicky pleaded them to help her. They only agreed to help after the Ambassador promised to give them a lifetime supply of Nasi Kandar. So the Angels boldly journeyed where no Bokana has journeyed before.

Meanwhile back in Mmoc Ssam, the daughter of King Sherman and Queen Shakiraalma, Princess Audrey Violet Eyes was playing with her nannies; Li Chin, Keeper of the cutie pigs; Catherine, Keeper of the kitty cats and Winny, Keeper of the pooh bears. However, they were distracted by gossips of how lousy King Sherman is. During this time, the evil sorceress Julie pricked Princess Audrey’s delicate fingers on a poisonous cactus, which sent the poor princess into a deep sleep. Her evil twin brother, Afiq proceeded to poison the royal guards (who were playing congkak at that time) with his powerful stench.

This was all part of a coup led by Canny to take over the palace. She wanted the Sacred Jukebox for herself and wanted the Charmed Ones to help her find it. She sashayed into the throne room and held the King and Queen hostage. She threatened to play Barney songs over and over again until the King summoned the Charmed Ones.

The smart and efficient kitchen maids, Gene, C-Mun and Cassandra hatched a plan to send for help. They stuffed Sharon into a trash receptacle and rolled her out of the castle. Sharon kept rolling up hill and down hill. ‘Goleking’ until she ran over Ambassador Vicky and the Bokana Angels. Climbing out of the receptacle, she promptly threw up on the unlucky people due to her motion sickness. The receptacle had been an old model and was not equipped with a sickness bag. Since Sharon could not find Shahriar the assassin, she informed the Bokana Angels that the castle had been attacked and their assistance were needed ASAP!!

The Bokana Angels barged into the castle. Everyone took one look at them and ran ‘lintang-pukangly’. Aiya, not because they were scary but they were smelly. They got puked on, remember? Anyway, the Angels attacked! DUSH! KA-CHING! POW! BANG! ADOI! SMACK! KICK! KA-POW! AIYA! CHOP! OUCH! SLAP! PULL!

The bruised villains finally raise the white flag but their leader, Canny escaped. She crawled under the large dining table. As she was crawling out, she ran smack into Shariar, who was there to hand in his resignation as an assassin. He caught Canny and brought her before the Charmed Ones, who turned her into a mushroom. Afiq and Julie were sentenced to watch a lifetime’s worth of boy band music videos.

Amongst the chaos, they heard peals of bells ringing and Theng Theng the Bell-Ringer pirouetted into the middle of the throne room.

“I sense much disturbance in the force. Dig here!� she commanded.

They dug – and unearthed the Sacred Jukebox! Everyone rejoiced as King Sherman’s authority was restored. (They didn’t have a choice anyway.)

However, King Sherman bellowed, “What about my darling daughter? Who is going to save her?�

“How about me?� declared a voice from behind the crowd. Many heads turned and there in the light stood Prince Alvin of the Gni-Sit-Revda. He strode over to where the Princess had fallen and kissed her on the forehead. Her eyelids fluttered open, she screamed and fainted. Despite the unfortunate incident of their first meeting, the couple was soon married.

And what happened to the Mmoc Ssam community? Well, as far as we know, they are still stark-raving mad.

Please note….
Name of these characters are taken from real people. Though the story is very far from the truth… All I can say that it is.. entertaining.

April 28th, 2006 | Musings, Oldies | 2 Comments »