The life and mind of Adeline Ong

Today things are really crazy for me…
Work wise, things seem to be going okay and things are right on track.

My body however is going nuts. I was hungry when I woke up at 8 a.m. this morning but somehow was so uninspired to eat, if that made any sense at all.

Anyhow, I had my first meal around 1 p.m. , tea with a wheat cracker. Within 5 minutes I was puking my guts out. My stomach hurt like crazy.

By the way, if you think I am on some weird diet. You are wrong. I understand that I am overweight but I do not need freakish ways to do harm to my body in the long run. If you think I am bullimic because I puked, please get a life. I hate vomiting. Ewww…..

OK, where was I… Yes… I was in pain…

After an hour pass, all I could eat was wheat crackers because I did not feel like eating but know that I need something for my blood sugar.

That is just so crazy, first of all, I am not a big fan of wheat crackers.

Secondly, a whole afternoon of wheat crackers??? Sigh….

The first thing I had after a crazy afternoon of crackers was See Koh Thng at a meeting I had with some volunteers of LPSM. Then at night, mum made turkey ham fried rice with tons of veges. Basically that is my meal for the day.

Currently, my stomach still hurts and I feel like curling into a small ball and try to sleep it off.

Today is SW’s 25th birthday and he is spending it in Malacca. Which doesn’t surprise me much…

Tonight, Virte is going on a one week trip to Cambodia and Thailand. I wish I could go. Sigh!!

Back to work….

Is it just me or is the weather just freaking hot today?

I hate it when it is too hot.

Why?

a) My skin burns easily, if you know me personally, I am notorious for having sunburn because I keep forgetting to wear sunscreen. Argh!!
b) I sweat like a pig. That is if a pig could sweat.
c) I become lethargic
d) I become moody and start screaming
e) I feel as though it is not worth doing anything (perhaps that explains why I am most productive when it is after midnight)

But then again we need the sun…

a) Vitamin D
b) Photosynthesis (Hey, unless we have an extremely evolved respiratory system that uses Nitrogen instead of Oxigen, yup, we still need the wonderful process that involves light)
c) Solar power (Too bad Malaysia is not harvesting the energy enough. Then again solar panels are freakishly expensive)
d) Light theraphy, without the sun, we will be depressed and gloomy.
e) Laundry day. I love the smell of clothes after it has been dried in the sun

Back from JB and my Internet Fast… Not that I want to but have no choice…
The hotel I was staying at charges RM 2 per minute of internet usage. It is 5 star. Heck, even mamak stalls now provide free Wi-Fi…. Why so cheap??

Argh!! Work piling up. Tell story later.

Off to JB for the last run of Men Without Shadows.
Will be back on Sunday night.

So much for soul searching…
Sometimes I wonder if we live our lives for ourselves or for the people around us…
We are usually momentarily blinded by the things we believe are important…
This song is one of current favourites at the moment…
It is what I feel at the moment, questioning what is important to me and what is not…
Whether I should do the crazy stuff in my head or follow the societal norms and go with it…
Being 24, I am too old for a lot of things and yet considered very young my many I meet through my work.
So many years of being fed societal lies and trying to live up to ‘normal’ healthy dreams.
It is such a problem when one gets so entangled with conflicting views that reality and fantasy seems to gel into one.
But in the end of the day, material things will come and go.
It is the choices that we make in life that will affect us. The choice is rather simple, which choice will make you a better person? The feeling comes from the gut not the heart, at least that is what I feel. If I have a sick feeling in my stomach, I know that it can’t be good for me.

Read through the lyrics of the song, in fact go out and get the record and listen to it. This is what I feel right now…

“Gone Going” by Black Eyed Peas and Jack Johnson

Johnny wanna be a big star
Get on stage and play the guitar
Make a little money, buy a fancy car
Big old house and an alligator
Just to match with them alligator shoes
He’s a rich man so he’s no longer singing the blues
He’s singing songs about material things
And platinum rings and watches that go bling
But, diamonds don’t bling in the dark
He a star now, but he ain’t singing from the heart
Sooner or later he’s just gonna fall apart
Coz his fans can’t relate to his new found art
He ain’t doing what he did from the start
And that’s putting in some feeling and thought
He decided to live his life shallow
Passion is love for material

[Chorus]
And its gone… gone… going…
Gone… everything gone… give a damn…
Gone be the birds when they don’t want to sing…
Gone people… up awkward with their things… gone.

You see yourself in the mirror
And you feel safe coz it looks familiar
But you afraid to open up your soul
Coz you don’t really know, don’t really know
Who he is, the person that’s deep within
Coz you are content with just being the name-brand man
And you fail to see that its trivial
Insignificant, you addicted to material
I’ve seen your kind before
You’re the type that thinks souls is sold in a store
Packaged up with incense sticks
With them vegetarian meals
To you that’s righteous
You’re fiction like books
You need to go out to life and look
Coz… what happens when they take your material
You already sold your soul and its…

[Chorus]

You say that time is money and money is time
So you got mind in your money and your money on your mind
But what about… that crime that you did to get paid
And what about… that bid, you can’t take it to your brain
What about those shoes you’ll wear today
They’ll do no good on the bridges you walked along the way

All that money that you got gonna be gone
That gear that you rock gonna be gone
The house up on the hill gonna be gone
The gold purse on your grill gonna be gone
The ice on your wrist gonna be gone
That nice little Miss gonna be gone
That whip that you roll gonna be gone
And what’s worst is your soul’s already gone

[Chorus]