If you were given a chance, the money and support?
What kind of business would you venture in?
That is what someone asked me recently. To be honest, I am not sure. I have heard many friends of mine claiming that they want to have a business of their own but if I asked them what, they give me the same old blank expression and casually say, “Dunno!”
So this is my question to you fellow readers, what business will you sink your teeth into if opportunity comes?
[] You like to eat chicken feet.
[] You sing karaoke.
[X] You’ve worn glasses ever since you
were in fifth grade.
[ ] You’ll haggle over something that
is not negotiable.
[ ] You are a math genius
Total: 1
[x] You take showers at night.
[x] You avoid the non-free snacks in
hotel rooms.
[x ] You say “aiyah!” and “wah!”
frequently.
[x] You save grocery bags.
[ ] You twirl your pen around your
fingers.
Total: 4
[x] You have been taught that wasting
food is a sin.
[ ] Your dad thinks he can fix
everything himself.
[x] You beat eggs with chopsticks.
[ ] You like congee with thousand-year-
old eggs.
[x] You have eaten moon cakes.
Total: 3
[ ] If you don’t live at home, when
your parents call, they ask you if
you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight.
[ ] You email/msn your Chinese
friends, even though you’re only 10
feet apart.
[ ] You can read
traditional chinese
[x] Your toothpaste tubes are all
squeezed paper-thin before they are
thrown away.
[x] You know what pearl milk teas are.
Total: 2
[x] You bring fruit with you as a gift
when you visit people’s homes.
[ ] You have acquired a taste for
bitter melon.
[ ] You eat every last grain of rice
in your bowl, but don’t eat the last
piece of food on the table.
[x] Your parents argue with other
adults over the dinner bill.
[x] You love to use coupons.
Total: 3
Now add the numbers up and multiply it
by 4.
I am 52% Chinese
What is the difference between good and bad? What is the difference between nice and notoriously dysfunctional?
I am sick and tired of people misinterpreting my actions for something that is not. Yes, at times I can be a pain to work with but there is a reason why. Am I a good person, yes I am but am I nice all the time? No way. Why? I am only human.
As humans, we get stressed out. Some more than others. Unfortunately, I am one of those on the extreme end. (I am taking measures to curd this problem. Like right now. I am letting it all pour out for you lovely people to read)
As humans, we make mistakes. The most important thing is that we learn from them. I do learn from them. Though not as fast as some people would like but I am getting there.
As humans, we always have both sides. It is important that we have a mixture because too much of either is bad for you. Funny, how people tend to value the negative side more than the positive. I mean you do something bad, you are front page news. Sigh!!!
In conclusion, as a human being I have my ups and downs. That is why at times, I am a PAIN to work with.
In all my years of projects, clubs ans societies, I have worked with strict team leaders, mediocre team leaders and weak team leaders before. Sad to say, there is a reason why humans need other humans to control them. I can be at times an authoritarian, a megalomaniac control freak and rather unreasonable to the fact that I have been compared to my mentor, who I still hold a lot of respect for. Because now I understand where she is coming from. (This is years after she made me cry after every class for almost a year.)
Personally, it is my belief that I should help those in need of it. Especially the ones that cry out to you with countless of text messages. At times, they might disagree with the advice and opinions I give. That is alright with me because to each their own right. However, with countless insults thrown at my face in front of people that are almost next to strangers, is the final straw. Okay, fine. Calling it an insult would be overboard, however, the adjectives used to describe me were less than pleasant because it undermines me as the person I am. I have gone out of my way to give support and this is the thanks I get.
As a Buddhist, I know that it is good to help those who are in need. But as a human being with feelings and other responsibility, though not worldly but is as equally important; I am sick and tired of helping people who come crawling to you in the middle of the night when you are ill, asking for help. And when you do help them (lay the groundwork, do the research etc.) , they repay you with countless of insults, snide remarks, bad jokes and worse of all an attitude that is full of “…………….�. Goodness, I do not know how to describe it in words because it is practically indescribable.
Perhaps I should tell the next bugger who comes crawling to me to go and procreate with him/herself. I am just too tired of helping people who cannot help themselves and instead of finding solutions they find the next target to blame. Or use another person as a scapegoat reason. I know this one person who is strapped for time but is not putting in the effort that he should be is claiming that he did not want to step up and be leader of a group because he knew how painful it was to work under someone who is demanding. This is a very capable and motivated person. One who I love collaborating with on projects and work. He has all the makings of a great leader. Though it wouldn’t harm if he added a bit more discipline into the way he works. Instead he chose to be well, as I would put it, soft. Yes, he gets his people feeling sorry for him and will try their best. Now the weakness here is the word TRY. Try is just a lame excuse that can be used to pacify oneself when one has failed in doing something that is important. See this now, that I am not saying that trying is a bad thing. But without a motivation to take “ACTION�, “TRY� is just, well, a word.
Well,
I am sick of TRYing to help.
I am sick of TRYing to care.
I am sick of TRYing to be there.
I am sick of TRYing to give advice.
I am sick of TRYing to TRY anymore.
As a tired human being, I bid you goodnight.
The heart pounds in an empty vessel,
Like the endless clanking of unoiled machines,
Working tiredlessly on a tired soul,
Soon all will end tonight,
Then perhaps peace shall flow,
Into the land of eternal darkness.
Copyright ©2007 Adeline Ong
Recently, I watched a rerun of the Oprah Winfrey show. It replayed Oprah’s challenge which she made to her viewers back in 2005. To do something everyday that made people feel worthy of themselves and existence. After all, we all do have a purpose in this world. At least that is what I believed.
“What have you done today (to make you feel proud)?� was the motto.
Heather Small’s song, Proud became the theme song.
Oprah said many times that if she was not doing what she does now. She would be a teacher. I am not sure if she realizes this but she is a teacher. Because she teaches many to use their lives affectively in her shows. With 20 years of experience behind her, it should be obvious that she does know of her role as a teacher. I, however, will be the failing student in Miss Winfrey’s class. Most of you who have known me would know by now that I am a Winfrey fan for as long as I can remember. My awe for the woman grew especially when the family installed satellite television for the first time circa 10 years ago. Which means, I get to watch Oprah almost everyday.
I always dreamed of being like Oprah. Not to be as famous as she is but to be so influential that she can raise millions of dollars to help out various charities. Then again being famous and influential has its price to pay. I do know the burden that she has to carry at times. Recently her Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girlsâ€â€South Africa got the critics talking. Why spend so much? Why South Africa when the US public school system is in need of support? Oprah manages to take it all in her good stride. Now there is talk about people blackmailing her. Sigh! I doubt I can take the pressure.
I tell myself that I am capable of emulating Oprah’s kindness in my everyday life though not at the same magnitude that she does. I believe a little everyday can make a difference. But then again at times, I wonder who I am kidding. It has been years since I done something that made me really, really proud. Yes, I know that what I currently do for a living is something great because of the lives I affect and the things that I sacrifice so that most of the programs go on well. I mean running a non-profit arts and crafts market is not easy at all. I feel bad when the vendors, most of them homemakers and retirees do not make any sales on market day. I always wish I could do more. Perhaps even get a huge sponsor to come in and save us from our dwindling funds. That is when I wish I was Oprah. Something deep inside of me know the reason why I am not as successful as her is because I lack the focus and drive at the moment. This makes me wonder where did I lose the side of me that was very competitive. The one that was so disciplined and focus. The one that never let anything stand in the way of the things that she wants.
At times I question the fact that if my choices are right, letting my former investment take a backseat. To be honest, my previous venture made me unhappy despite the fact that it makes more money than what I do now. However, the question comes as to whether I want to sell my soul for that high amount. Being there in the so called higher strata of society made me hate being around such people. They claimed themselves to be focus and driven but sadly they are slaves to money without realizing it. I have never been in the company of such shallow people in my whole life. Yes, without doubt that money is important. But doing what these people for it does not do any good. If that is the price to pay for so-called happiness. I do not want it.
I won’t lie to and say that I do not want to be rich. I want to be rich and have integrity. I want to be rich and deserve it. The balance that I see Oprah has attained is the benchmark that I wish to achieve. She is rich no doubt but she works hard for it. Currently, I hang around with a different crowd. These people are who I want to become. They are rich, no doubt, but they are genuine. Better than the fakers that I used to associate with. My current job makes me remember why I made this decision in the first place.
That is why today I am writing this. To change my life into the way I want it to be. To see things in a different light. To do as much good as possible in the year 2007 (I am Buddhist after all) To be more tolerant and rational. These will be my challenges. Please note that I do not make New Year resolutions because I do not believe in them. I believe in challenging myself.
A commitment to seek change. At least that is what I did today to make myself feel proud.