The life and mind of Adeline Ong

Busy schedules have been keeping me off from updating this site. However that does not mean I have not been writing. I have been writing loads actually. Not entries like these sadly but short scripts. Since the last update, I have written 2 short scripts for my group LiveShocks. I am currently finishing another one.

LiveShocks! is Electric Minds Project’s bi-weekly script reading session. This activity is a chance to meet writers, directors and actors in a friendly, laid-back setting. This coming Sunday will be our 10th installation. I have been to every one minus installation 8 due to the 9th Emperor Festival.

LiveShocks! has helped me improve my script writing skills tremendously. In 21 weeks (it’s sounds like a long time but trust me, it isn’t), I have went from a noob to well… Not a noob. Hahaha!!!

One of my pieces is going to be performed in a showcase next year. Yay!!! A newbie writer’s dream.

Basically we are a group of theater enthusiasts who decided to do something other than complaining about the Win-Lose situations of the local theater scene. (Raise your hand if you have bitched about that before!)

LiveShocks! was started as a chance to meet writers, directors and actors in a friendly, laid-back situation. It’s a place where writers can have their work read, where actors can have a chance to read and for directors to listen (for once). Teehee!

Anyways, I cannot really explain LiveShocks! It is something that you would have to experience.

JOIN US!!!

We are on Facebook. If you can’t find us, let me know.

I am the wondrous wanderer,
I wander around in search of a purpose,
I wander around in search of hope and dreams,
I wander around in the barren grounds,
I wander around in the land of richness,
I wander around possibilities and hope,
Yet I wonder why I wander when I feel so tired,
When I feel like giving it all up, to end it all,
I want to wander no more yet I do not feel whole,
I wonder if that is the reason I continue to wander,
I am of course the wanderer, it is my job to wander,
For how long should I wander, no one knows,
Yet I am the wondrous wanderer,
I don’t know where my journey starts,
I don’t know where my journey ends.

Talk about hair raising tales. I had my fringe bleached about 5 weeks ago.
Now this crazy hairstyle was one that I wanted since I was 13 after reading a magazine. Being in school, that idea had to be struck out. It wasn’t until on a crazy creative whim that I decided to just go crazy and do it. Basically, I got bored and wanted to do something artsy. I wasn’t in the mood to write despite the fact I owe the team a couple of scripts and I had tons running amok in my head.

I realized that this might cause uproar with my students. Some people commented that it was cool, others said it was Lala. Then again, do you think I cared? My only regret is that I did not do it in white. That way I can have Rogue’s (X-Men) look. Well, even with it being blonde, people still asked me if it was inspired by Rogue. I might have mentioned it more than once that Rogue is my favourite X-men. I wish I could be her. Perhaps I should go as Rogue to this year’s Halloween party. If there is going to be one at all.

I love my hair. In fact, I did not even realize that my hair has changed at all. It was only 2 weeks into my new look that I realized I had to back to the temple fest. I wasn’ sure if the congregation would accept my little rebellious self.

Well the final test came with me popping up the final flight of stairs to the temple. Old Uncle L was the first to greet me. He said it was cool. Now coming from a man who is in his 70s, it was the best compliment I had about my hair.

But it is during this 10 days retreat that my confidence in myself was renewed. No matter what I look like outside, people will still accept me for who I am inside. Silly, I know. This is something that many people talk to me about. Yet there is always that little insecure child inside me that craves for people’s attention.

But how do we pacify that little insecure child?

What does it take to realize your dreams?

Is it guts?
Is it luck?
Is it hope?
Is it focus?
Is it a plan?
Is it money?
Is it people?
Is it passion?
Is it support?
Is it education?
Is it networking?

But what if it is the other way round?

If you had all the rest but no dream at all?
What should you do?
Life seems to be ironic that way, isn’t it?
Funny how we whine when we have nothing and yet still whine when we almost have it all?
Why do we feel frustrated when we don’t have a choice?
Why do we get so confused when we actually do have a choice?
In the confusion of it all, where do we find the calmness to think?

It’s been a year since I have seen Bro P and Bro D. But it is during the annual 9 Emperor festival that all of us actually take time out of our extremely busy schedules to congregate in Penang for about 10 days. 12 in my case because I needed a day to travel each way.

The congregation is mainly made up of Mandarin speakers with knowledge of reading and writing Chinese. Now, being a girl from a Kebangsaan school, learning Chinese was not really, how should I put it, necessary. (Well, I am singing a different tune now obviously)

Anyways, over dinner, we were discussing the matter of youths today not knowing their mother tongue. If that was not bad enough, some youths practically spoke Manglish or the market version of our national language. Talk about being a master of none.

Bro D recalls his encounter with a South African visitor he had that spoke to him in Mandarin. A language that he too did not pick up.

Now, this untactful visitor obviously did not understand the Chinese culture of saving face despite speaking fluent Mandarin, said, “You are Chinese but can’t speak it?�

To that, Bro D claimed it was shameful and that I should be ashamed to for being a Banana. Now for those who do not know this term, let me educate you. Banana is a term used to describe a Chinese who can’t speak Chinese. You know, yellow on the outside but white on the inside.

Saying that I should be ashamed was the final straw. I am not sure if I was being overly sensitive but I have been trying not to use negative adjectives in my conversations especially when I am conducting my training sessions.

The debate began with me, in a firm voice stating, “No, I am not ashamed. Why should I be?�

“Cause you are a Chinese.�

“I speak about 5 languages and dialects. Not fluent at all but at least…�

“That’s not my point. It is shameful that we do not know proper Mandarin.�

“Well, I refuse to use the word shame.�

“Then?�

“I will see it as an opportunity to learn to appreciate my own culture. If a foreigner can take the effort to learn our language, why can’t we?�

“I still think it is a shame.�

Now, before I can interject any further, Bro P decided to interrupt the conversation.

“Well, D, her background is in training. Different people use word differently; shame to you carries a different definition than it does for her.�

After that, I just went about my duties in the kitchen area, leaving the two men behind to continue further banters of politics and what nots.

This little conversation happened over a week ago. Yet it still bugs me until today. The positive thing that came out of it was my realization of how one word can change a person’s outlook in life. Now it has become more apparent and clearer to me the fact that my mentor once asked me to only speak with purpose and be mindful of the words that come out of our mouths. The tongue can be mightier than the sword or pen put together. I never quite understood it when she first told me that before. But I guess, with more experience we gain clearer distinctions on how to live our lives to the fullest and filled with purpose.