I am not much for putting up my Christmas wish list. I know it is too late for people to rush out and buy me stuff if they wanted to but heck, let’s have some fun here.

1. A digital camera – as many of you know, I am one of the only bloggers who do not own a camera. Sad but true.
2. DVD of Across The Universe
3. A cool design for this outdated website
4. A portfolio shoot – headshots and the whole lot
5. A black laced corset
6. A pair of high knee leather boots
7. Thomas Sabo lucky charm
8. Katana
9. Kimono ala Jigoku Shoujo
10. My own entourage of PAs, stylist and publicist
11. Can I be cheeky and add WORLD PEACE?

It has happened many times but I guess the nature of this thing being repetitive has taught me how to handle it maturely and gracefully.

One of my friend has gotten a boyfriend and funnily enough people around me are wondering how I feel. I guess most people are wondering how I would spend my time now since I will not be hanging out with my friend as often as I used to. What do they want me to feel anyway? Lonely? Sad? Jealous?

Honestly I feel really happy, I’ve met the boyfriend (before they were together) and he has received my seal of approval. They really deserve each other.

As for the seal of approval, it is not that I do not like my friends’ partners. But somehow, many have conveniently chose the dumbest assholes (Sorry, mind my language here.) to date. Argh!!! I apologize if my sisterly instincts kick in but it is always easier to spot the players and jerks when you are the third party. Trust me; I have had my share of dumb assed partners before. Conveniently I did not see that when I was dating them.

Back to the main topic.

Now just because my friend is dating someone means that we are no longer friends anymore. It is just that we have different priorities now. Which I believe is great because I strongly believe we would have killed each other if we spent too much time together. Will I miss the hang outs, the get together and activities we usually do as a duo? I would be lying if I said no. But everyone needs their own time and space.

Someone once lamented to me that now his social life had to change because his best friend has gotten a girlfriend and no longer has time to play PS2 with him anymore. Rather sad if you are a man in your mid 20s and the closest you ever got to a girl was Lara Croft. That is a different story all together.

Anyway, as they saying goes 3 is a crowd and trust me I have had enough experience being the lamp post in many dates of various couples. I know sometimes my friends feel bad because I might feel left out. After all, I have been single ever since dinosaurs roamed the face of the Earth. They have included me in activities with good intentions no doubt.

Sometimes I wish I could blatantly say, “ X (insert friend’s name), I want you to know that hanging out with just you and your boyfriend almost all the time is not my cup of tea and I am sure your boyfriend would want one on one time with you. Having me there will just spoil the romantic atmosphere.�

Personally, I feel we should be able to manage and separate time into 3 parts when it comes to hanging out – lovers, friends and the whole gang. I used to give my ex time alone with his friends because I strongly believe that you should not ignore your friends when you are in a relationship. Many people despite knowing so still ignore their friends when they are blissfully walking in the wonderland of love.

Currently, I am not sure how I fit into my friend’s crazy schedule. We will have to wait and see. Then again, if I do get lonely. I guess finding a boyfriend shouldn’t be too hard, is it?

It is amazing how 2008 just flew pass by me.

I know it sounds clichéd because I believe every other person has the same comment. But for me it is true. It was a year of many discoveries. Some positive, others not so. Happiness versus heartbreak moments. Memories that will last a lifetime.

Through them all, I have picked up some life lessons that I would love to share.

Responsibility – Taking charge of your life begins with being able to take responsibility for the things that we have done be it for the greater good or just because we are the devil’s advocate. If you choose to run away from responsibility, you will be running forever. Responsibility is scary at times but in the end, everything will work out.

Love – It is alright to fall in love and be vulnerable once in a while. It is alright to feel pain when love is lost. It is alright to just feel for once. Love is the mother of all emotions and all emotions are created equal.

Humanity – Hating people is alright as long as you still believe in humanity. There is good in every person no matter how horrible they may seem.

Career – There is no harm in trying for something you really want. Stagnation can only damage you. You are your own biggest supporter. Set the bar higher than usual, you will be amazed at the wonders that unfold.

Self Awareness – You do not always need to know the answer and that is alright.

Humility – No matter what happens in life. Always remember these 4 words. “THIS TOO, SHALL PASS�

Passion – Life is more enjoyable when you are passionate about something.

Money – It is just a tool. It does not define you. If you are skillful, money is a great servant. If not, money is the master of horrors.

Spirituality – Never underestimate the power of prayer. It is magical.

Individuality – Just be yourself. You are who you are and should not spend time trying to defend it or explain yourself. There will be haters, no doubt, but why bother, they are spending their time obsessing over your lack of conformity. You have FANS!!!

As the New Year comes forth, I hope I will be much wiser then. Happy New Year!!!

I know that I sound rather ungrateful at times when I lament that I am a struggling and jobless actor. But when I look back at my so called career in acting, I have done pretty well in 2008.

Coming Out of The Closet – May
Older (The Platform) - July
Waiting for Ashes (Short+Sweet) – August
Ketukung Togel – August
Cheng Ho and the Treasure Fleet – October
Hiding - November
The Stage – November

Despite the fact that many of these were short plays and films. It does cement the fact that I have advance in my acting compared to me being in Penang.

Let’s see what new projects 2009 will bring.

Someone asked me if I ever fallen for a co-star before.

Now this is a tough question because I am not sure how to tackle this.

I believe in love and that love can be spontaneous. However, I hold on to some principles such as not dating co-workers. Technically, my co-stars are my co-workers. I know that there are people who do it and there is nothing wrong with that. But for me, it does complicate matters. I applaud people who are able to keep the line clean between professional and personal life. I know I am capable of doing the same but I not only lack focus; I have a huge drama hook.

Coming back to love, I have not fallen for a co-star during productions. The ones that I have fallen for were actually my friends before we started out the productions and things went awry from there. Simply put, they happen to be my crushes before they became my co-stars.

The upside of having your crush as a co-star is, you just can’t wait to get to work. You become super productive and attentive. Well, at least I know I was more than happy to drive miles away to attend rehearsal even after my long day at work.

Plus, if your co-star is supposed to be your lover/partner in the show, it is easy to put in more emotional connection. But be warned that it is also hard to get out of it at times. This come as no surprise since many celebrities met their other half while filming on set. I shall not elaborate which couples because this is not a Hollywood gossip entry.

Productions are jobs to me and I for one will do my very best not to jeopardize that. It is true that the heart wants what the heart wants. So when it ever comes to that, I will make my decision then. For now, I am still able to maintain my professionalism.

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