Recently I was invited to join an online group which was fittingly called - “You know you’re an actor when” on Facebook. I am sharing this so that all my ’stubborn’ friends will finally understand why Facebook is better than some of the current social networking sites out there and that they should just jump on the bandwagon.
Anyways, read the lines below (Nope, I did not write them, I just copied it out of the group for your enjoyment and hopefully entice you into opening a Facebook acount for the sake of networking)
P.S. No, Facebook does not pay me. I just like being on there.
Now before I kill the enthusiasm. I shall let you enjoy these.
You understand what opening up, quartering out, projecting, and the magic if are.
You can read faster than a speeding bullet.
You know you won’t get cast in a role that’s 30 years older than you- but you audition anyway.
You are crazy enough to act professionally.
You know who Stanislavski, Hagen, Chekhov, and Miesner are.
You laugh when someone uses the words “Keanu Reeves” and “good Actor” in the same phrase.
You are terrified of the stage manager.
You are used to working until 10 or 11 p.m.
You are constantly looking and memorizing monologues.
You use things like ” British accent” “scuba diving” and a picture in your resume.
You can put on full hooker make-up in under five minutes.
You can COMPLETELY change clothes in under 15 seconds.
You are extremely comfortable in the dark.
You can’t watch a movie without judging everything about it.
You see more plays than movies.
You know someone in every play you see- and want their part.
top raumen is a staple.
You go to New York to live in a tiny apartment with 7 other people.
You accept that you will just have to marry rich.
You can dance ANYTHING in heels.
You don’t mind blisters or costumes that don’t fit.
You HAVE NO SHAME whatsoever.
You burst out into song.
You repeat lines from the current show you’re in casual conversation.
You have thousands of temporary friends.
You can’t do calculus but can recite Shakespeare from memory.
You know the value of a good headshot.
You have hundreds of copies of your headshot.
You would cut and die your hair in a split second for a part.
You have more makeup than a 13 year-old’s bathroom (even if you’re a guy).
You never wear jewelry unless you’re on stage.
Rolling on the floor “interpreting” music doesn’t seem weird to you.
You are used to bright lights shining in your eyes.
You look like a crazy person riding public transportation because you’re practicing your lines.
You can memorize anything.
You get yelled at more than you get spoken to- and it doesn’t bother you.
You can walk around in just panty hoes.
You can share a bathroom with 20 people.
You can be EXAUSTED but still play the lead in a musical.
You can sing and dance at the same time.
You aren’t shy about kissing a stranger.
You whip out cigarettes anytime someone says “5 minutes”
You smoke, know it’s bad for you, but do it anyway.
You can still work even if you’re sicker than a dog.
You try to remember what if feels like when you cried.
You wear all black and don’t see the problem.
You can do eight accents at the drop of a hat.
You know Choices are good- but emotions are not.
You work well under pressure.
You can do 3 shows a day and still want more.
You can fill a room the size of a stadium without a microphone.
You know how you put on a body mic in under 10 seconds.
You know why there’s that drawer full of condoms- (no, not for that!).
You can do a full show with broken limbs.
You understand that being early is on time, being on time is late and being late doesn’t happen.
YOU’RE NEVER LATE!
You understand the director is never wrong- even though they are a lot.
You can kiss major ass and not feel bad about it.
You have really bled during a show but still do the full show.
You have accidentally flashed large rooms of people.
Your roommates never see you.
You don’t have time to eat, sleep, or do anything other than rehearse.
You don’t practice, you rehearse.
the quote “Actors without techies are just people trying to emote alone in the dark. Techies without actors are people who have marketable skills.”
makes you mad- even if you know it’s true.
You live on less than minimum wage- and your parents told you so.
You have beet hit or almost been hit by the fly at least once.
It is snowing outside but once you walk in that dressing room you sweat rivers… and it only gets worse on stage.
You don’t want to think about where those costumes have been.
You have been fined for costumes being on the floor.
You have seen every member of your cast naked when trying to do a quick change.
You wish you were shorter if you are a girl or wish male actors were taller.
You know curtain call is always a little shaky…
You can smile during curtain call even if you are dying inside from an awful show.
You struggle to mention the scottish play even when you aren’t in a theatre.
The words “Good Luck” never come out of your mouth, no matter what the circumstance!
You know you’re an actor when you call job interviews or tryouts for sports teams, “Auditions”
You know you’re an actor when you don’t call your friends by their names; you call them by what character you think they’d be best as.
People stop in the middle of class to hear YOUR conversation even when it’s the most mundane thing. They’re just confounded by our skills.
