The life and mind of Adeline Ong

- Pei Leng’s Wedding and her son’s full moon

- Money & You, April and July 2008

- Malaysians Freeze at Pavilion

- My comeback on stage - COOC

- The Dance on the Balcony

- LiveShocks

- 26 on the 26

- Date nights with Sparky

- Ribbit Edutainment projects

- Origami Classes

- Short + Sweet

- Hanging out with Million Dollar Baby again…

- Bridesmaid at Samantha’s Wedding

- Halloween Cookout @ Sparky’s

- Getting my Corda for Capoeira

- NIDA 08

- Paying homage to KuanYin in Sanya

I am not much for putting up my Christmas wish list. I know it is too late for people to rush out and buy me stuff if they wanted to but heck, let’s have some fun here.

1. A digital camera – as many of you know, I am one of the only bloggers who do not own a camera. Sad but true.
2. DVD of Across The Universe
3. A cool design for this outdated website
4. A portfolio shoot – headshots and the whole lot
5. A black laced corset
6. A pair of high knee leather boots
7. Thomas Sabo lucky charm
8. Katana
9. Kimono ala Jigoku Shoujo
10. My own entourage of PAs, stylist and publicist
11. Can I be cheeky and add WORLD PEACE?

It has happened many times but I guess the nature of this thing being repetitive has taught me how to handle it maturely and gracefully.

One of my friend has gotten a boyfriend and funnily enough people around me are wondering how I feel. I guess most people are wondering how I would spend my time now since I will not be hanging out with my friend as often as I used to. What do they want me to feel anyway? Lonely? Sad? Jealous?

Honestly I feel really happy, I’ve met the boyfriend (before they were together) and he has received my seal of approval. They really deserve each other.

As for the seal of approval, it is not that I do not like my friends’ partners. But somehow, many have conveniently chose the dumbest assholes (Sorry, mind my language here.) to date. Argh!!! I apologize if my sisterly instincts kick in but it is always easier to spot the players and jerks when you are the third party. Trust me; I have had my share of dumb assed partners before. Conveniently I did not see that when I was dating them.

Back to the main topic.

Now just because my friend is dating someone means that we are no longer friends anymore. It is just that we have different priorities now. Which I believe is great because I strongly believe we would have killed each other if we spent too much time together. Will I miss the hang outs, the get together and activities we usually do as a duo? I would be lying if I said no. But everyone needs their own time and space.

Someone once lamented to me that now his social life had to change because his best friend has gotten a girlfriend and no longer has time to play PS2 with him anymore. Rather sad if you are a man in your mid 20s and the closest you ever got to a girl was Lara Croft. That is a different story all together.

Anyway, as they saying goes 3 is a crowd and trust me I have had enough experience being the lamp post in many dates of various couples. I know sometimes my friends feel bad because I might feel left out. After all, I have been single ever since dinosaurs roamed the face of the Earth. They have included me in activities with good intentions no doubt.

Sometimes I wish I could blatantly say, “ X (insert friend’s name), I want you to know that hanging out with just you and your boyfriend almost all the time is not my cup of tea and I am sure your boyfriend would want one on one time with you. Having me there will just spoil the romantic atmosphere.”

Personally, I feel we should be able to manage and separate time into 3 parts when it comes to hanging out – lovers, friends and the whole gang. I used to give my ex time alone with his friends because I strongly believe that you should not ignore your friends when you are in a relationship. Many people despite knowing so still ignore their friends when they are blissfully walking in the wonderland of love.

Currently, I am not sure how I fit into my friend’s crazy schedule. We will have to wait and see. Then again, if I do get lonely. I guess finding a boyfriend shouldn’t be too hard, is it?

It is amazing how 2008 just flew pass by me.

I know it sounds clichéd because I believe every other person has the same comment. But for me it is true. It was a year of many discoveries. Some positive, others not so. Happiness versus heartbreak moments. Memories that will last a lifetime.

Through them all, I have picked up some life lessons that I would love to share.

Responsibility – Taking charge of your life begins with being able to take responsibility for the things that we have done be it for the greater good or just because we are the devil’s advocate. If you choose to run away from responsibility, you will be running forever. Responsibility is scary at times but in the end, everything will work out.

Love – It is alright to fall in love and be vulnerable once in a while. It is alright to feel pain when love is lost. It is alright to just feel for once. Love is the mother of all emotions and all emotions are created equal.

Humanity – Hating people is alright as long as you still believe in humanity. There is good in every person no matter how horrible they may seem.

Career – There is no harm in trying for something you really want. Stagnation can only damage you. You are your own biggest supporter. Set the bar higher than usual, you will be amazed at the wonders that unfold.

Self Awareness – You do not always need to know the answer and that is alright.

Humility – No matter what happens in life. Always remember these 4 words. “THIS TOO, SHALL PASS”

Passion – Life is more enjoyable when you are passionate about something.

Money – It is just a tool. It does not define you. If you are skillful, money is a great servant. If not, money is the master of horrors.

Spirituality – Never underestimate the power of prayer. It is magical.

Individuality – Just be yourself. You are who you are and should not spend time trying to defend it or explain yourself. There will be haters, no doubt, but why bother, they are spending their time obsessing over your lack of conformity. You have FANS!!!

As the New Year comes forth, I hope I will be much wiser then. Happy New Year!!!

One of my best mates is gay (though not many people know about it, which will lead to the next thing on this note) and he is not ashamed of it. I mean, why should you be ashamed to be who you really are right? More power to gaydom!!! (If there is even such a word. If not, I just created it so there!)

And NO, there will not be a prize for guessing who I am talking about here.

However, he could also be the reason why I am still single until today. Why is that? Simply because people think we are an item, which I find hilarious. I do not mind actually because I am single and have nothing else better to do than to fill the mind of the mundane and terminally bored folks whose sole purpose in life is to live through the lives of others. Plus, he does make good arm candy. (I could just hear him screaming now, “Oi! I am not your arm candy!”)

Anyway, if you have heard that the best friend a girl can have is a gay guy. It is true. I can testify to that.

This buddy of mine is generally a sweetheart through and through. I bet you he has a heart of caramel gold.

But then again, you do not want to make him angry. You will not like him when he is angry. Kind of reminds me of Gremlins. You know, they can be all soft and cuddly but after they pop out of their slimy cocoons, they become this reptilian like creatures that terrorize you. Alright, I admit I am exaggerating here. The moral of this paragraph is, don’t piss him off.

Now, I strongly believe that there is more than one soul mate for everyone out there. I do not care what other people say but to me; soul mates come in all different races, religion and of course, sexual orientation. They may appear any time in your life. And YES, you can have MORE than one.

So, yes, I am saying that my soul mate is GAY! And I won’t have it any other way…

If you are reading this - I love ya, just the way you are!!! Hugs!!!

I am a clutter queen. I keep almost every thing with the excuse that I will need it one day. Most of the time I don’t. It will take me ages to actually throw out something.

Two nights ago, I went through some boxes and found stuff that I thought were long lost. Most of the things I keep are usually used for my arts and crafts. I love making stuff. Thank goodness for these skills because I am refining them to make props for my productions. Yay!!

Anyways, back to the clutter. I found photo albums filled with photos of my trip to USA, I missed my time there, I miss my friends. How bad was do I miss them? I actually had a dream of me being back in Berea that very night. I really, really miss the USA. I want to go back there. Hopefully in 2010, I will be there.

I also stumble upon a book V gave me. On the flyleaf, he wrote something very beautiful for me. To that, I cried myself to sleep.

It is almost 2 years now, he has moved on so must I but perhaps that is why I still hang on to the clutter despite it swallowing me whole. I am somehow to afraid to move forward or I do not want to move forward. I am not sure.

Man, I should clean out that place I call a bedroom. Perhaps things will start looking up for me.

What does it take to realize your dreams?

Is it guts?
Is it luck?
Is it hope?
Is it focus?
Is it a plan?
Is it money?
Is it people?
Is it passion?
Is it support?
Is it education?
Is it networking?

But what if it is the other way round?

If you had all the rest but no dream at all?
What should you do?
Life seems to be ironic that way, isn’t it?
Funny how we whine when we have nothing and yet still whine when we almost have it all?
Why do we feel frustrated when we don’t have a choice?
Why do we get so confused when we actually do have a choice?
In the confusion of it all, where do we find the calmness to think?

When do you know that the time has come?
When do you know that it is time to leave?
When do you know that it is time to let go?
When do you know that you should look forward and not look back?
When do you know that the time is now?

The air smells different here. Or it could just be me. It feels really good to be back here after so long. As I look out the balcony, I see headlights speeding to and fro. It is late now. I hope they rush home safely. In the far distance, I see neon lights slowly dying as shops call it a night.

The familiar surrounding of my bedroom brings back faint memories of my past. Almost a year now; I can’t believe how fast time just passes me by. The slow humming of the air conditioner, gives me the sense of calmness that I need; reassuring me that I am home. A mental note to myself, “I sure need to clean this place,” as my eyes wander to boxes that were never open since we moved in. I wonder what hidden treasures lay inside them.

I drove my trusty silver car out earlier. It has been too long. As I climbed into the driver’s seat and caressed the steering wheel with my hands, it felt like a reunion of old friends. I missed this car. It has been my companion for many years. Memories sweet and bitter intertwined, still lingered in the air. Shadows of lovers passed; the late night rendezvous; sneaking kisses amongst warm cuddles. Tears of anguish still stains the seats, the dashboard still bears the bruises of wild pounding fists. All this wrapped within a metal box with wheels.

My eyes grow weary now. The soft bed, swimming in the scent of lavender, beckons. I bid all of you a good night. May your slumber be filled with wonderful jewels of memories to keep. As for me, my stay here is temporary; I knowingly, savor every moment of it, while it lasts.

Last Saturday night, after I spoke to him for the last time. I hung up the phone and as my eyes well up, I let out a soft sob. For those who do not know, might have thought I was devastated that my team did not make the Short+Sweet Gala Night. For those who know and especially those who were there, thank you for the love and support.

How am I feeling now? Well, this quote that E gave me describes everything I am feeling.

“I’ve learned that goodbyes will always hurt. Pictures will never replace having been there. Memories good or bad will bring tears. And words can never replace those feelings.”

Have you ever looked back in your life and wonder if you ever achieve those dreams that you had as a kid? Recently, I am looking back and realized a lot of things that has happened and have been happening in my life now are intentions and dreams that I have released into the great unknown universe.

Let’s have a little flashback.

When I was 7, I wanted to be a teacher.
At the age of 19, I had my first proper job as a teacher; teaching at one of the most prestigious and oldest schools in Malaysia.

When I was 12, I wanted to be a writer.
At the age of 18, I had my first article published in the local newspaper.

When I was 16, I wanted to go to acting school.
At the age of 20, I attended a local university to do acting and directing.

When I was 17, I wanted to study in USA.
At the age of 22, I was chosen as student ambassador to Berea College for a semester.

When I was 22, I wanted to be a trainer.
At the age of 24, I became a Cultural Orientation Trainer.

When I was 23, I wanted to work with refugees.
At the age of 24, as a Cultural Orientation Trainer, I am doing just that.

Hmmm…

Slightly delayed but still achieved.

I just hope that my other wishes and dreams will come true.

This is to the future…

As many of you would have known by now, I am a seminar and workshop addict. I just love going to seminars. If I cannot do that, even a short preview will do.

My very first proper seminar was when I was 10 years old. It was conducted by Dr Lawrence Walter Ng in Penang about effective studying. I am not sure what it is called now. But back then I was not very comfortable and rather lost. First of all, I was the youngest participant. However, it was still fun because we played games and sang songs. Eventually through all that bonding, we learnt something.

I did not attend any proper seminars (Unless you count camps that the school organizes) after that, until November 2004, where I finally get to go to Robert Kiyosaki’s 2 ½ Days Business School in Singapore. It has helped me made some decisions in my life. It was at this one that I decided to become a trainer. I currently am. (Yay, me!!)

However, I am the type of student who needs constant revision and practice before it finally gets ingrained into my brain. So back to another seminar I went.

Ever since returning from Money and You, early last April; I have been starting to change my work habits and the way I see thing around me. I have become more responsible person. I am not perfect and I am still learning. Interestingly, it is harder than it looks. I have been fortunate enough to attend refresher courses and additional programs from Money and You.

To be honest, the day I finally grabbed my scroll from university. I thought that all those crazy learning and studying will stop. Apparently not.

There is much to learn and my life is just beginning.

This is a bit of outdated news. Well to be precise, 4 days outdated. However, it took me a while to digest the news. And only now do I have the courage to write about it.

There was a funeral at my neighbour’s place. Now, there is an old lady living in that house with her daughter and grandkids. So when all the funeral trimmings and what nots were up, it was natural to assume that grandmama went over to meet her maker.

But on the very next day, sis bumped into grandmama who said her daughter was involved in a car accident. Sis promised to go for the wake.

During the wake, family members decided to tell sis the real incident behind my neighbour’s death. My neighbour was shot on her way back from work. Her car was stalled on the highway and she called a colleague for help. The colleague on the other line, heard gun shots and screams. That was the end of my poor neighbour. The story is in last Friday’s The Star if you are interested about more. As far as I know, it was not a robbery.

Since grandmama is old and frail, the rest of the family decided to tell her it was a car accident. What I am mainly concern about are the two kids, one is 5 while the other just 6. Oh did I mention that my neighbour was a single mom?

Yikes, right?

I have always read stories in the papers and wonder who are these people. What are their stories? Who can do such a thing? Why? What is the motivation? What happens to the others who survived?

Now having something happen that is so close to home. Makes me wonder, what is the world coming to?

Life is too short. That is for sure. We can never know when is our last breath and who is the last person we see. (Yes, I do admit that this line is rather cliched but can you blame me?)

Ash claims that this should be motivation enough for me to do something that I have been stalling for way too long. Perhaps, when the time is right. I will do it.

I love the Serenity Prayer despite the fact I am Buddhist. Much to the confusion of my friends.

I believe all religions mean well. It is the practitioners that sometimes or rather distort the essense of it.

Simplicity and beauty… That is what I love about this prayer.

I am a big big fan of the Secret Movie and Audiobook. I was fortunate enough to be the first few who have watched the copy when Esther Hicks was still part of the Secret’s team. Anyhow, the Secret has worked for me in many different ways. I am still waiting for the financial part to appear but I have been goofing about too much. Whoops!!

I have written an entry about The Secret previously but that was before I had more distinctions about the topic.

Here is the preview of the Secret. Enjoy!!!
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When I was younger, I was taught to help the needy.
I was told that I should help the ones who needed my help.
I was told that I should put others’ needs and wants before my own.
I was told that I was blessed and in return do my duty.

But no one told me that some people need more than just material things.
No one told me that some people need more than just advice.
No one told me that some people need more than just a shoulder to cry on.
No one told me that some people need more than just a friend.

The needy becomes greedy.
The needy becomes clingy.
The needy becomes crazy.
The needy becomes a part of me.

Now here is my message to the needy who has now been too dependent of me.
All you see before you is all of me,
All that I can give you is the best of me,
This is the real me.

I can be there for you,
I can advice you,
I can help you,
I can have compassion for you.

But I need this;
Free me, take me not for granted,
Appreciate me, cause one day I might be gone,
Free yourself, cause I can’t do it for you.

Now this is an interesting debate topic.

Well, it all started when a caller called a radio station to say that Jolly Ole’ Saint Nicholas is promoting obesity.

Now, I do not like it when someone comments about my weight. I am pretty self concious about that myself. Plus, I do not like calling people fat because I am not skinny. However, to attack a legend (or some might say fictional icon) on his weight, is really hilarious. I will admit that even at my age now, I still believe in Santa Claus. Call me childish or what not, but it helps to keep my Christmas spirits up.

Anyway, with Santa’s image immortalized in many different things that represent Christmas. It is unfair to say that he promotes obesity. He is a jolly guy who is happy with his weight (though I think the reindeers would not have minded that Mr Claus sheds the extra pounds) and he gives out pressies. I was helping out with a charity Christmas party last week. As soon as Santa made his appearance, he put a smile on every child’s face. The children are not looking at how fat he is, but the happiness and spirit Santa embodies of Christmas. OK, fine, the gifts are an extra plus.

Plus who can prove that Santa is actually that big? It could be the layers and layers of clothing he has on. I mean living in the North Pole and all. When I was in Beijing during winter, I had at least 7 layers on. No doubt I looked like a pregnant penguin. Then again, the idea of a skinny Santa is unimaginable.

I am wondering if the caller is a person who hates fat people. I mean he attacked Santa. Who else you think will be next on the hit list? Frosty the Snowman and his clan.

Perhaps the caller hates Christmas. It is said that many neglect the calorie counting and expanding waistline in favour of delectable Christmas treats and party foods. Not to mention the endless flow of alchohol until the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Day. That is a lot of gobbling and chomping of fat laden and calorie packed morsels. I mean after all, it is only once a year. And many would probably have ‘Dieting’ or ‘Lose Weight’ in their New Year’s Resolution. So why not break a few more rules before you lock yourself down to a self made rule that you will probably break anyway before next year ends?

Fat or not, it is Christmas. Stop worrying about it. There are other things to worry about. Making sure you have gotten all the pressies for your loved ones. Putting up the Christmas tree. Family traditions. Or whatever you lots do on Christmas.

For my non-Christmas celebrating friends.

HAPPY KWANZAA!
HAPPY HANNUKAH!
HAPPY WINTER SOLSTICE!
HAPPY ‘TANG CHUEK’!

Or just simply

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

I bid you adieu for today’s entry with:-

Have a very FATTY Christmas everyone!! You know yours truly will be doing so.

About 5 years ago, a former college mate of mine claims that there is a racist in all of us. To some extent, I believe him.

According to him, even though we call ourselves civilized human beings. We have a tendency to respond to the upbringing as well as the enviroment around us. We have been exposed to, countless of time through the media and our surroundings to group certain characteristics into one race.

Malaysians, you would probably have heard this, the Chinese are the biz whiz, Malays only depend on the government and Indians cannot be trusted because they are always drunk. Over the years, most have laughed over the so-called Muhibbah jokes which evolved around the 3 main races. Come on, you will be lying or happen to be non-Malaysian to deny this. (OK, someone is going to argue that we should have a sense of humour and take these pokes of fun with a pinch of salt. Well, this will be another great debate that I will not be able to comprehend at the moment)

Despite the fact that we try to shake this stereotype casting in society, some joker from the group will do something outrageous to reinforce the racists’ ideals.

I have a friend who claims to be an all out racist. She never says anything racist in front of other races but in the privacy and the safety of her own race. She attacks the other race countlessly. Indeed that something massive must have happened in her life to be so outspoken and fill her hatred towards the other race. But I still question whether she took the time to understand or even have friends from that particular race?

As for me, I first encountered racism in my former alma mater at the age of 21. That was one of the reason I left my dorm. I knew I could not handle it well and will probably retaliate in some improper manner that might cause me to be expelled. Best way, avoid it at all cost. That was probably my savior.

The reason I could not handle it was because I had many close friends from various races and backgrounds. To be in a strange enviroment and have racist slurs shouted at me was a bit too much. Before that, I had never had anything racist thrown my way.

I am not sure if the racist in all of will eventually die down but I am keeping mine under intensive lock down.

Kathmandu – Three Tibetan independence activists, including one Tibetan-American, were detained by Chinese authorities today after demonstrating and unfurling a banner reading “One World, One Dream, Free Tibet 2008” in English, and “Free Tibet” written in Tibetan and Chinese, at Mount Everest’s main base camp in Tibet.

The protest was held on the eve of the International Olympic Committee’s announcement of the final Beijing 2008 Olympic torch relay route and as a Chinese team of climbers prepared a trial ascent of the mountain. If approved, China will take the torch over Mount Everest and through Tibet, a move that Tibetans and their supporters decry as offering international approval to China’s brutal occupation of Tibet.

“The Chinese government hopes to use the 2008 Olympic Games to conceal the brutality of its occupation of Tibet and win the international community’s acceptance as a modern power on the world stage,” said Lhadon Tethong, the Executive Director of Students for a Free Tibet, from Kathmandu. “Mount Everest is not in China, it’s in Tibet, very near where Chinese border guards shot and killed unarmed Tibetan refugees last September. The International Olympic Committee has no business promoting the Chinese government’s political agenda by allowing the torch to be run through Tibet.”

According to an eyewitness report, Chinese authorities detained the three activists, including Tenzin Dorjee, a Tibetan-American, who was wearing a t-shirt that read “No Torch through Tibet.” Prior to his detention, he lit a symbolic torch of Tibetan freedom and sang the Tibetan National Anthem. Tenzin Dorjee is the first known exiled Tibetan to stage a protest inside Tibet. At least one other American has also been detained in conjunction with the protest.

“Tibetans worldwide are looking to the 2008 Beijing Olympics as an unprecedented opportunity to expose the truth about Chinese rule in Tibet,” said Tenzin Choeying, the National Director of Students for a Free Tibet India. “The torch of freedom continues to burn brightly in the hearts and minds of Tibetans everywhere and China can expect more protests of this nature in the months leading up to and during the Games.”

The high altitude demonstration coincided with the eighteenth birthday of the Panchen Lama, Gendhun Choekyi Nyima – Tibetan Buddhism’s most important spiritual leader after the Dalai Lama – and a political prisoner of the Chinese government. He and his family have been held since 1995, when he was only six years old. China has denied all requests by foreign diplomats and United Nations representatives to see him. Tibetans and supporters are staging protests for his release at Chinese embassies and consulates worldwide today.

Students for a Free Tibet (SFT) is a network of young people and activists campaigning for Tibetan independence, with 650 chapters in more than thirty countries worldwide. SFT is based in New York, with offices in Vancouver, London, and Dharamsala, India. SFT is working to shine the Olympic spotlight on China’s occupation of Tibet.

www.studentsforafreetibet.org

Contact:

Lhadon Tethong in Kathmandu, +977 980-341-7525
Tenzin Choeying in Kathmandu, +977 980-341-6982
Kate Woznow in New York, +1 917-418-4133

A friend send me the photo of the gal who I lost my man to.
Pretty, very pretty.
And me…

Let’s just say that the wound still stings.