The life and mind of Adeline Ong

For years now after getting my first tattoo, I have been searching for another tattoo design to satisfy my crazy passion for storytelling and being ever so sui generis. Does not make sense to you?

Other than having a meaning, I want my tattoos to be conversational pieces,

to be a piece to mark a transitory period of my life,

have an inter cultural historical meaning .

Currently, I am looking at getting a full back Japanese Cherry Blossom piece starting from the base of my spine.

This will be my only colour tattoo.

When I told V about it, his reaction was, “Expensive wei…”

Typical V, but he is only getting his first tattoo after he gets his next cord. He has already gotten his design down.

As for mine, the design is still in its conception point. I am torn between having a full tree, that is positioned on the middle of my back or just have a branch that begins at the base and the branches up towards my left shoulder blade.

I asked my mom for her opinion.

 She was horrified, “Why would you want something so big on your body?”

I just laughed. The design is not out yet, for all I know, it’ll probably be only a handful of Cherry Blossoms. Like my first, I’ll probably be designing the tattoo myself. Or at least get a draft design for the artist to work with. We’ll see. It took me 6 months to finally get my first tattoo design down and that piece was simple. God knows how these Cherry Blossoms will look like.

You might be wondering why I am choosing Cherry Blossoms since they are not exactly my favourite flowers.

In case you are wondering, I love Red Poppies.

In typical Otaku fashion, the Cherry Blossoms (Sakura) has played a very important part in Japanese culture. Almost every anime that I loved has a Sakura scene as well as theme songs related to Sakura. But more importantly, Sakura blooms in Spring, the time when life begins. Culturally, the flower is used to symbolize the transience of life (how Zen and Buddhist). Falling blossoms are representative of snow (the season that I closely compare myself to)

And according to legend they are a metaphor for a warrior killed early in life.

Morbid but very me.

And being Chinese, one cannot forget the image of the Cherry Blossom during the Lunar New Year. It represents the symbol of feminine dominance, female beauty and sexuality.

Yes, I am proud to be a woman though it can be hard at times.

Some people will applaud the fact that I am finally getting a feminine and pretty tattoo as compared to my first tattoo.

Since I’m getting the second one done, I’ll ask them to re-ink the first.

Initially, I had wanted my second tattoo to be done traditionally in Borneo. Most of my friends think I am either a pain junkie or have just lost my marbles.

I actually do not mind the pain because it is something I am ready to put up with. What I am actually worried about is the infection that might get. For me, if I am going to have another tattoo, it might as well be done traditionally.

But it looks like that will be my third piece then. And I have not decided on the design for that one either.

Perhaps I will come up with some drafts and you can give me feedback on them. Ta!

For years, there has been talk about me hauling my butt over to the UK to see my sibs. There were tons of excuses of not going. Mainly work related but I finally am tired of hearing myself whine as people I love are actually enjoying themselves halfway round the world. Well, I have finally booked the tickets for this summer. All I need to do now is save up until then to shop in London town… I actually would like to squeeze in a workshop and probably a few shows.

No, wait… I actually need to submit my leave tomorrow. But then it’ll be all good.

I can’t believe it. As the page popped up to confirm my payments, it finally sank in. I’ll be going to London.

Deep breaths…

Sometimes in our life, there is a void, a hole, that indescribable emptiness,

Something that makes you feel worthless and incomplete.

The feeling is uncomfortable, uneasy, and restless;

You can’t sit still, you feel like running but there is nowhere to go.

At night, you toss and turn in your bed despite laying there for the past hour,

You try to find the answer, that cure, that magic elixir, the perfect solution,

That will help to wash away, to purify, to take away, to give you an escape,

And yet the harder you search, the more it eludes you,

Perhaps when problems like these arise, the only answer is to let time take its course.

But as all of you know that time can be our cruelest teacher and yet the kindest one;

Because it does give us the best lessons in life,

They may not appear right in front of us or when we need it,

Funny how it will only rear its head when we least expect it,

Perhaps a mundane Thursday or when you are stuck in the daily rush hour traffic to work,

As I write this, I am feeling all these feelings, some I cannot explain, others I could rationalize,

Someone wise told me that we are always in control of our feelings;

If we claim that we cannot and do not have the power to do so,

It’s because we are addicted to the sense of security the negative emotions allow us to have,

Therefore, now I think the only thing I can do is to sit still, stay as neutral as possible,

And let the tide come in slowly as it washes the shore clean of the debris of yesterday.

This is the story of a brother, a father, a husband, a son, a friend and a human being. It’s is written by his sister, I am just reposting it. My prayers are with the family, my adopted family. I pray for justice and the Grace of the Creator.

The story begins…

On March 11th, he was arrested at his apartment’s parking lot in Segambut. Police brought him to an apartment he rented in Kepong, and after entering, claimed that in that residence, he possessed 800grams of cocaine, and 140grams of methamphetamine, and accused him of processing and trafficking, putting him under the risk of being charged under Section 39B, which carries the death penalty.

On March 12th he was remanded for 7 days. When my parents inquired if we can engage a lawyer, the Investigation Officer told us “No need”.

On March 17th, after our family waited more than an hour, we were allowed to see him for the very first time, under supervision.

Again my mother asked if we should get him a lawyer, again the I.O advised against it, claiming “Lawyer tak boleh buat apa-apa sekarang. Buang duit je. (Lawyer can’t do anything now. It’s simply a waste of money).”

On March 18th, his remand was extended another 7 days. The magistrate inquired why there was no lawyer present for him, and whether he was made aware he had the right to a counsel of his choice. He replied “No.” Therefore, he requested for one, and only nine hours later, did the I.O call to inform my mother, who promptly engaged Amer Hamzah Arshad.

But the very next day, the police used their Executive authority under Section 28A that vetoed his right to a counsel. All requests made by our lawyer to visit him was denied.

Only after we complained to SUHAKAM, did the police allow Amer to visit him.

On the last day of his remand.

After the investigations were concluded.

For only 15 minutes.

On March 25th, he was brought to court, and charged under Section 12(2) for possession of 0.24grams of metaphetamin in his Segambut residence. Nothing the police claimed they found in the Kepong residence, the cocaine and shabu that was “already packaged to be distributed” or the so called “cocaine processing mini-lab” was brought to court.

Because there WAS none.

He was released on bail. A trial date was set. He was so close to being free, and seeing his 4 year old son again.
But as he was signing the papers of his release, the Plainclothes were outside waiting.

Not two steps after he came out of the bail department, without any explanation, they re-arrested him. Amer was restrained from protecting him, and only after Amer repeatedly asked them to show their I.D, did they do so. Still, no explanation was given to the family. We were merely told to go to the Headquarters and speak to Inspector Kang. The same guy who claimed my brother possessed the cocaine they NEVER found.

He never saw us, he was “in a meeting.” He wasn’t too occupied to give the press a statement, but was unavailable to see us.

We were told by the new I.O for this case, and the DSP (the guy who signed the papers denying my brother the right to a counsel) that they are detaining him for 60 days under the Special Preventive Measures Act (LPK), after which, they could further detain him for 2 years if found guilty.

Guilty according to THEM. For under this act, it is a detention without trial, like the Internal Security Act. Any information gathered from “witnesses” and “investigations” will never be disclosed to him or his lawyer, or the court. He will also not be able to defend himself against any allegations. Under this act, he will never have his day in court.

On March 25th, my brother, Ben, was denied his Constitutional rights.

For 2 weeks, our family went through hell. Sleepless nights, press waiting outside our door, Ben had asthma attacks after the police delayed themselves in acquiring the requested medication for 3 days, Mama, who is a cancer patient herself, suffered chest pains and lost her voice.

We felt it was all worth it, for we would be able to have him back.

But now, a new nightmare has begun.

Whether or not Ben is guilty, should not be for the Police to decide. If they HAD the evidence to strengthen their warrant for re-arrest, why was it not brought to court? Why is Ben not given a chance to defend himself? How can we ever know the authenticity of these so called witnesses and their statements? If there were ANY to begin with?

Under this act, I could simply be caught for any crimes of drug offences the police accuse me of, because they can claim they have enough information (even if they have absolutely nothing) and detain me. For 60 days, for 2 years, and even EXTEND it after.

Acts like this and the ISA are licenses for ARBITRARY arrest and detention. Anytime. Anywhere. Anybody.

My family and Amer will not back down. We will fight for Ben’s right. We will speak up for all of those who were silenced before us, who will be silenced hereafter.

But we seek your help. In any way at all, help us fight this. Re-post this, write on your blogs, write to your local representative, to our newspapers, and together we shall use our voice, our art, our space, to stand up not just for Ben, but for all our rights.

Liberty is a Constitutional right. It’s time to get it back.
- Elza

For now, where do we go from here…

I have spent the past five years trying to recreate the experience and happiness of the lone five months I spent in Kentucky.
No one will understand how important it is to me.
To some people, the States is just a tourist destination.
Others, a land where evil is born.
To me, it’s home.
Sad but somehow, I feel more at home in a land on the other side of the world than my own home country.
Five years have passed. I am getting more homesick than ever.