The life and mind of Adeline Ong

Today at work, we were talking about slaughter houses. For the ones in the know, we were describing how chickens are being strapped on conveyer belts and slaughter then dunked in boiling water.

Well you get the picture. Obviously, it is not a conversation for the squeamish.

The conversation reminded me of a debate that I had back in the States.

You’ve guessed it, Meat Eaters versus Vegetarians.

Some guys in my group were talking flack about vegetarianism and were not tolerant of the ‘weak’ veggie munchers.

“Real men need meat. Not some tofu.”

Back then I was dating a guy who carries a butterfly knife in his pocket all the time. He was irritated by the conversation. He was a semi vegetarian and so was I. Anyway, he took his knife and slid it across the table towards the guys.

“Have you slaughter the meat you ate before?”

“What? Of course not. I can’t kill a life.”

“If you can’t kill it, then you don’t deserve to eat it.”

Those are the words that I still carry with me and I repeat when people talk trash about vegetarians or vegetarianism. If people are okay with you eating meat, please be okay with people eating plants.

I am not saying that you cannot eat meat. Heck, I eat meat. And yes, I’ll slaughter a chicken if I have to.

But the idea of eating meat unconsciously sickens me. The way people today consume meat is as though it appears out of thin air. In case you do not know, that is not the case.

This is a flesh trade where billions of dollars are exchanged. Plus, you don’t want to get me started on the impact of animal farming on the environment.

Yes, I know you love your fried chicken, your big chunky steak, and those spicy spare ribs.

I am not one to stand here and preach, “Eating meat is bad and cruel!”

But next time before you tuck into that double patty juicy burger, please contemplate how that piece of meat came to be. Show some appreciation to the fact that another life has been sacrificed just so that your insatiable palate may be satisfied for the next few hours before you have another go at some other poor creature.

And if you are wondering, I do contemplate before every meal. Some people may call it prayer but I don’t pray or say grace before I eat. I just contemplate and let the awareness of how the dish came to be in front of me.

Yes, it won’t do much for poor Mr. Pig who is now bacon staring back at you, but trust me; it makes you feel grateful for every meal and every minute of your life.

M, once said to me, “You have been given the gift of light. Why don’t you use it?”

There is a reason for everything to happen. Everyone will have that special ability to help change the course of another’s life.

Personally, I do not see myself as special. Unless you consider being moody with a permanent scowl plastered on my face as I don all blacks almost 24/7, a special ability then I will agree that I am special.

However, M is right about one thing.

“One of these days, you will have to use it.”

“I’ll see when the opportunity presents itself,” I casually replied.

That conversation happened last year.

The past week, has been rather interesting for me.

For a week now, under very strange circumstances was I called to help others unveil the inner workings of the universe and what is has in store for them. Weird gut feelings lead me to those around me who needed me at that point of time. I just hope that I have done the right thing, to point them towards or away from their initial intentions. That is one of the reason why I hardly want to use the Light, for we are responsible for the effects that it might have on another’s life.

But like it or not, sometimes in life, you cannot reject what is being presented to you. You really just have to go with the flow. So I just went with the flow…

In return for answering the callings, I have enjoyed a very productive and positive week. (For the skeptics out there, I may be Goth but I am human too.)

This probably started on the night when I hung out with Kalamari and his friend. It was on a whim that I decided to go out that night; I am usually the type of person who would rather stay at home if I have already called it a night. After all, I had been working 8 hours prior, had a production meeting and attended an anniversary party.

Perhaps it was the company; perhaps it was just another opportunity to get to know more people. Somehow, something just compelled me to go.

Thank goodness, these guys have wonderful aura and I feel a sense of familiarity and comfort when I am around them. I guess some of their positive energy rubbed off on me and I carried it over for the rest of the week.

So many interesting events began to unfold. I’ve gotten calls from friends I have not been in contact for years. Those conversations were precious and brought many happy memories to mind. Then on the social networking scene, I’ve reconnected with people from Uni. And to top it off, I am back in contact with my other half of the Dynamic Duo.

‘Yes, you’ve heard it people, run for your lives. The Malicious Malaysian has been back in contact with her Conniving Caucasian. We shall rule the world!!!’

*Laughs Maniacally*

So much has changed since I’ve hung out with Conniving back in Berea. No one has ever called me, ‘Malicious’ the way he does. For those of you who have been following my story, Conniving is doing well back in the States. You may drop a comment for him if you like.

Currently, the awesome feeling is resonating very high. But I am realistic, ‘THIS TOO SHALL PASS.’

I, on the other hand am enjoying it while it lasts.

For years now after getting my first tattoo, I have been searching for another tattoo design to satisfy my crazy passion for storytelling and being ever so sui generis. Does not make sense to you?

Other than having a meaning, I want my tattoos to be conversational pieces,

to be a piece to mark a transitory period of my life,

have an inter cultural historical meaning .

Currently, I am looking at getting a full back Japanese Cherry Blossom piece starting from the base of my spine.

This will be my only colour tattoo.

When I told V about it, his reaction was, “Expensive wei…”

Typical V, but he is only getting his first tattoo after he gets his next cord. He has already gotten his design down.

As for mine, the design is still in its conception point. I am torn between having a full tree, that is positioned on the middle of my back or just have a branch that begins at the base and the branches up towards my left shoulder blade.

I asked my mom for her opinion.

 She was horrified, “Why would you want something so big on your body?”

I just laughed. The design is not out yet, for all I know, it’ll probably be only a handful of Cherry Blossoms. Like my first, I’ll probably be designing the tattoo myself. Or at least get a draft design for the artist to work with. We’ll see. It took me 6 months to finally get my first tattoo design down and that piece was simple. God knows how these Cherry Blossoms will look like.

You might be wondering why I am choosing Cherry Blossoms since they are not exactly my favourite flowers.

In case you are wondering, I love Red Poppies.

In typical Otaku fashion, the Cherry Blossoms (Sakura) has played a very important part in Japanese culture. Almost every anime that I loved has a Sakura scene as well as theme songs related to Sakura. But more importantly, Sakura blooms in Spring, the time when life begins. Culturally, the flower is used to symbolize the transience of life (how Zen and Buddhist). Falling blossoms are representative of snow (the season that I closely compare myself to)

And according to legend they are a metaphor for a warrior killed early in life.

Morbid but very me.

And being Chinese, one cannot forget the image of the Cherry Blossom during the Lunar New Year. It represents the symbol of feminine dominance, female beauty and sexuality.

Yes, I am proud to be a woman though it can be hard at times.

Some people will applaud the fact that I am finally getting a feminine and pretty tattoo as compared to my first tattoo.

Since I’m getting the second one done, I’ll ask them to re-ink the first.

Initially, I had wanted my second tattoo to be done traditionally in Borneo. Most of my friends think I am either a pain junkie or have just lost my marbles.

I actually do not mind the pain because it is something I am ready to put up with. What I am actually worried about is the infection that might get. For me, if I am going to have another tattoo, it might as well be done traditionally.

But it looks like that will be my third piece then. And I have not decided on the design for that one either.

Perhaps I will come up with some drafts and you can give me feedback on them. Ta!

For years, there has been talk about me hauling my butt over to the UK to see my sibs. There were tons of excuses of not going. Mainly work related but I finally am tired of hearing myself whine as people I love are actually enjoying themselves halfway round the world. Well, I have finally booked the tickets for this summer. All I need to do now is save up until then to shop in London town… I actually would like to squeeze in a workshop and probably a few shows.

No, wait… I actually need to submit my leave tomorrow. But then it’ll be all good.

I can’t believe it. As the page popped up to confirm my payments, it finally sank in. I’ll be going to London.

Deep breaths…

Sometimes in our life, there is a void, a hole, that indescribable emptiness,

Something that makes you feel worthless and incomplete.

The feeling is uncomfortable, uneasy, and restless;

You can’t sit still, you feel like running but there is nowhere to go.

At night, you toss and turn in your bed despite laying there for the past hour,

You try to find the answer, that cure, that magic elixir, the perfect solution,

That will help to wash away, to purify, to take away, to give you an escape,

And yet the harder you search, the more it eludes you,

Perhaps when problems like these arise, the only answer is to let time take its course.

But as all of you know that time can be our cruelest teacher and yet the kindest one;

Because it does give us the best lessons in life,

They may not appear right in front of us or when we need it,

Funny how it will only rear its head when we least expect it,

Perhaps a mundane Thursday or when you are stuck in the daily rush hour traffic to work,

As I write this, I am feeling all these feelings, some I cannot explain, others I could rationalize,

Someone wise told me that we are always in control of our feelings;

If we claim that we cannot and do not have the power to do so,

It’s because we are addicted to the sense of security the negative emotions allow us to have,

Therefore, now I think the only thing I can do is to sit still, stay as neutral as possible,

And let the tide come in slowly as it washes the shore clean of the debris of yesterday.